i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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