How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize