I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
