he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
