There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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