what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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