We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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