why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
