i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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