I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
