Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
