just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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