i think i have herpe
just one?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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