he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
