People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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