i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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