Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
