You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
