Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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