no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
