East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
