Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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