Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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