it wasn't lemon gatorade
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
