he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
