I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
