Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
