I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
