I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
thus making me awesome and them whores
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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