He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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