If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
