Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
