kristin has been a bad kristin
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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