Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
