tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
