Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
