census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
