just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
