hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize