"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize