The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He passed out mid-signature
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
