Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
