are you still at the devil's house?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
