He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
