I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
