my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
