She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I want a musical about memes.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize