I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
