I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
