My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
