i just had sex bonerless
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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