And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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