That's when you crack a 10am beer
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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