No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
