Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
