Don't you send me to vm
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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