5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
