He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Randomize
