The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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