Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
