K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
