So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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