I must be too annoying 4 u.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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