A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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