Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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