When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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